"A MAN CALLED 'BUMPY'"

Hi folks, this is Two Texas PawPaw. Some 20 years ago, I lost my Father-in-Law. His name was Murrel Sales and we called him 'Bumpy'. Bumpy was one of a kind and his passing hit our close knit family very hard. He hadn't been ill at all and became sick shortly after supper one evening and by midnight he was gone. The day following his passing, I wrote a tribute to him and left it laying on the bar at the home where the family had gathered. One of the grand daughters, Michelle, found it, and to make a long story short, the day of the funeral, I found that tribute I had written laying next to the guest registration book at the entrance to the room where Bumpy lay. The family thought enough of it to want all his family and friends to see it, because I guess it kind of describe Bumpy as he really was. It goes like this:-----DEAR GOD,--WELL HE'S YOURS NOW AND WE THANK YOU FOR LETTING US HAVE HIM FOR A TIME. BUT, NOW THAT HE'S GONE TO BE WITH YOU, THERE IS A FEW THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS MOST INCREDIBLE MAN. SOME THINGS WE WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO DO FOR HIM IF YOU HAVE TIME. HE DOES'T NEED MUCH BECAUSE HE ALWAYS GOT BY ON A LOT LESS THAN MOST FOLKS. MAKE SURE THERE IS A WATER FAUCET CLOSE BY WITH A CLEAN GLASS SO HE CAN HAVE A DRINK OF WATER EVERY NOW AND THEN. AND GOD, IF HE EVER STRAYS OFF VERY FAR, GET HIM BACK EARLY BECAUSE HE'S NOT MUCH FOR STAYING AWAY FROM HOME AT NIGHT. AND IF YOU HAVE AN OLD CAR OR AN OLD PICKUP SITTING AROUND UP THERE FOR HIM TO DRIVE, THAT'LL BE FINE. HE DOESN'T NEED A NEW ONE, HE NEVER HAD ONE. MAYBE THERE'S A SMALL PIECE OF LAND THAT HE COULD FARM, SO HE COULD RAISE A FEW BALES OF COTTON. I KNOW GOD, IT'S ASKING A LOT, BUT IF THERE HAPPEN TO BE AN OLD TRACTOR UP THERE IN THE BARN SOMEWHERE, PARK IT OUT THERE FOR HIM. HE LIKES AIR CONDITIONER ON IT, BUT, IF IT'S NOT THERE, HE WONT COMPLAIN. MAKE SURE THAT HE HAS AN OLD DOG TO TALK TO, HE LIKES AN OLD BIRD DOG, BUT REALLY, ANY OLD DOG WILL DO. AND GOD, IF THERE SHOULD BE A KID'S BALL GAME OF ANY KIND IN THE AREA, LET HIM KNOW ABOUT IT EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE, HE'D LIKE THAT. MAKE SURE HE ALWAYS HAS CLEAN CLOTHES, BECAUSE HE NEVER LOOKED ANY WAY BUT JUST NEAT. AND ONCE IN AWHILE AFTER A MEAL, NOT EVERY TIME, THROW IN AN OLD KING EDWARD CIGAR TO RELAX WITH. AND IF THERE IS TELEVISION UP THERE IN HEAVEN, GIVE HIM ONE OF THOSE FANCY CHANNEL CHANGERS SO HE WONT HAVE TO GET UP FROM HIS EASY CHAIR TO CHANGE THE STATION. MAKE SURE HE KEEPS HIS LITTLE GRIN IN THE CORNER OF HIS MOUTH, BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT IT. THIS MAY SEEM LIKE A LOT GOD, BUT IT'S VERY LITTLE FOR A PERSON WHO WAS A LOT OF MAN. TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM LORD, AND, IF YOU SHOULD RUN INTO HIM ANYTIME SOON, TELL BUMPY THAT WE LOVE HIM AND THAT WE WILL SEE HIM IN HEAVEN:-----This is Two Texas PawPaw, signing off, and the good Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I'll be back tomorrow.---I'm still waiting on a few people to respond before I can post the answer to "WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE", with all those ingredients mixed up together.